Just a quick break to breathe . . .
Vacation remembered. Ahhhhh.
For more eye candy you may also like Great Lakes Revisited, Autumn at Botanical Gardens and Cabin Fever.
Vacation Break
Category: Health and well being
InnerPeace – Healthy Self-Talk
Most of us monitor what movies or TV shows we are willing to watch. Certainly, if we are parents, we are responsible for monitoring what our children view. We want to watch shows of high quality, for example. We may also want to limit our viewing to shows that are morally uplifting, teach us something or expand our worldview.
But what about the show playing inside of our own heads? Do you ever consider your own self-talk? Self-talk is the running conversation that is happening in the brains of most of us at any given moment. Our minds continuously play a conversation or chatter, if you will. It may abate or slow down when we are meditating but usually it will resume the minute we stop.
Like the shows we watch, we have control over what our minds dwell on or think about. What goes on within our own minds is even more important than what we put into our minds. Good mental health requires that we monitor our self-talk in ways that are positive and beneficial to us.
The Mayo Clinic offers an excellent definition of healthy self-talk: what you say to yourself should be no different than what you would be willing to say to someone else. In other words, we should be at least as kind to ourselves as we would be to someone else.
Regardless what has happened to us in our lives, we have a responsibility to heal ourselves. Healthy self-talk habits are no different than other habits we discipline ourselves to do. We do laundry, cook, clean, and participate in other activities because we have created habits of living over time. Creating good thinking habits is no different.
However, if you experience intrusive thoughts that won’t diminish over time you may be experiencing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD. Consult a therapist or psychologist for diagnosis and the many new ways of healing this disorder.
But otherwise, one habit or technique helpful to creating more positive self-talk is to start with gratitude and non-discursive prayer or meditation – and a reminder that nothing is ever wasted, no matter how painful or messy it seems at the moment.
What about you? What positive self-talk habits to you employ?
You may also like Only Peace Brings Peace, Let’s Play and Irish Heritage.
Salad in a Jar
Remember my post on Picnic in a Jar? Well, what about salad in a jar?
It’s a make-ahead lunch that’s delicious, healthy, fast and easy. Use an empty spaghetti jar or canning jar. Pop it in your backpack or purse. When you’re ready to eat, add dressing and shake. Your dressing will be evenly disbursed.
Why not do the same with cottage cheese, yogurt and fruit? Top with granola.
Bon appetit!
Get complete details at Life Hacker.com.
You may also like Picnic in a Jar, Walking Chicken BBQ and No-Cook Marinara & Pasta.
Evil is the Absence of Empathy
What causes some to be cruel and others to be kind?
In her New York Times book review, 6 Degrees of Empathy, Katherine Bouton writes,
“The Science of Evil,” by Simon Baron-Cohen, seems likely to antagonize the victims of evil, the parents of children with autism spectrum disorder, at least a few of the dozens of researchers whose work he cites — not to mention critics of his views on evolutionary psychology or of his claims about the neurobiology of the sexes. “The Science of Evil” proposes a simple but persuasive hypothesis for a new way to think about evil.
Bouton explains –
Dr. Baron-Cohen, a professor of developmental psychology at the University of Cambridge and director of the university’s Autism Research Center, proposes that evil is more scientifically defined as an absence of empathy, exacerbated by negative environmental factors (usually parental, sometimes societal) and a genetic component. When these three exist in tandem they result in what he calls a Zero-Negative personality. Zero-Negative takes at least three forms (and possibly more), borrowing from terms used in psychiatry: Zero Type P (psychopathology), Zero Type B (borderline disorder) and Zero Type N (narcissism).
So basically, one might say that self-centeredness or selfishness is strongly correlated with what we would describe as evil or cruelty.
Autism, of course, is the polar reverse of this. It has been proposed that in some forms of autism, the person over-identifies with others. This results in high empathy – so much so that communication becomes minimal. Why? If one believes that they identify strongly with others, why ask?
Since social environment plays a role here we need to ask, “How much self-centeredness is promoted in our culture of individualism and isolation?”
Certainly, our own freedom to choose who we want to be plays a role too. We all know people who come out of situations where little or no empathy can be found – yet choose to live lives focused beyond themselves. As persons we make a moral choice to develop compassion and empathy for others – or not.
Failure to do this is a failure to realize that we are all connected. It is a failure to realize that my own well being is contingent on the well being of others.
Empathy is the core of what it means to be truly human. In Christianity Jesus is the model. Jesus wanted us to be able to feel what others feel. We are to make their feelings our own. That is the task of being on mission for Christians – this means we enter the world of those who are different and see it from their point of view. This makes us truly human, who we are meant to be.
The movie Avatar is a film that tries to make this same point. Although steeped in all the patriarchal trimmings (white male saves the planet, yet again) there is still something to be learned. Watch and enjoy.
You may also like Thinkers Anonymous, Traditions, Teaching and Changes and Fill Your Life With Fabulous.
InnerPeace – Replaying Conversations
Do you ever find yourself replaying a conversation you had with someone? Replaying conversations is often a symptom of interacting with an addict, manipulator or narcissist – especially if it only happens with certain people in your life.
Often, you may be trying to figure out what didn’t sit right in the conversation. The answer is – plenty – because conversations with addicts and narcissists don’t make any sense. You may not recognize their faulty logic immediately. It may not be apparent to you until after you are out of the emotional grip of the person. But later on you may realize that the words and actions of the person weren’t consistent, the “logic” was in fact illogical or the overtone was subtly (maybe overtly) sarcastic, angry or demeaning.
Another possibility the conversation seems unfinished or not quite right is that you may not have felt heard. And this is probably true. Active addicts, like narcissists, are extremely self-centered. They don’t respond appropriately to what others say, nor do they acknowledge what was said. Certainly they don’t ask the questions that are part of a normal conversation. They tend to talk in statements and make demands.
So the next time you find yourself replaying a conversation – stop. Consider that it isn’t you that missed something, rather something is amiss with the other person. If the pattern continues reassess how much time you spend with this person and minimize or eliminate your time with them as appropriate.
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