Watch carefully what the people around you talk about or discuss.
Greedy people talk only about themselves and their own lives. Chatter is non-stop. Conversation is one-way. Self-centeredness and selfishness reign supreme.
Small-minded people gossip, focusing negatively on others’ lives along with the hopelessness of their own problems. In their small circle, victimhood is the theme.
Wise people focus on ideas, solving problems and offer possible solutions by engaging, listening and connecting with others in an ever-widening circle. Friendship fills their lives.
Bathrooms and bedrooms don’t need to be large for me to enjoy them. I seek simpler creature comforts. During cold Minnesota winters thick towels, a down comforter and a soft throw make me smile – as seen in these tiny jewel boxes below.
Of course a pair of nice warm, wool slippers are always nice to pad around in, on tile floors or cold days. Add a scented candle and hot tea. Snuggle in.
Educator Parker Palmer’s new book Healing the Heart of Democracy, had this memorable paragraph on socializing only with one’s family or the resistance to developing friendships in the public sphere:
“It is worth noting that the word private comes from the Latin privare, the root that gives rise to the word deprived. How ironic that the private life so highly prized by Americans is a life that the ancients regarded as a form of deprivation for grown-ups. As my Manhattan cabbie said, ‘If you’re with the same kind of people all the time, it’s like wearing the same suit all time – you get sick of it.’ What could be more stupefying for fully functional adults than to have nothing but a private life where one continually sees the same people and recycles the same experiences, attitudes, and ideas? No wonder the Greek word for a strictly private person was idiots, from which we get the term idiot, meaning someone who says or does stupid things.” (emphasis author’s, 95)
The next time someone brags that they’re a “private person” or are too busy with their family activities remember this.
This is not a matter of being introverted or extroverted – or the ability to be comfortable with many people rather than one or two people at a time. Either way, we need a wide variety of rich relationships with others who are different from ourselves and our families in order to be more of who we are, healthy and whole.
Our culture lacks this which is why so many of us are xenophobic (fearful of strangers). It is also why we too often become drama-focused and narcissistic. Committed and ongoing friendship with those who are different brings social, psychological, physical and spiritual health.
Stretch beyond your comfort zone. Invite someone new for a cup of tea. Meet someone new for a walk. Join a discussion group or book club. Teach English as a second language. Expand your support network of friends over family. You will learn more about who you really are.
Take a virtual walk through this amazing bonsai exhibit. From the miniature red apples to the carefully tended moss beneath, each one is a unique, living masterpiece.
Photo R. MesharPhoto R. MesharPhoto R. MesharPhoto R. MesharPhoto R. MesharPhoto R. Meshar
Recently I had to decide whether or not to fly, take the train or even the bus. I asked myself, “Which transportation option uses the least energy?”
There is a site that calculates train vs. plane emmissions per passenger (train is 73-91% LESS than plane travel in Europe – likely similar in the U.S. too). So safe to say, I should have taken the train! I will choose to take the train on my next trip.
What about you? Would you consider leaving your car at home and taking a bus or the train? Are those options even available to you?
Also, think about green options when choosing a hotel. Here’s the link to the post “Dallas Snow-Over” showing the green Element Hotel chain with a picture of a room like the one we stayed in.
We vote for a healthy, green planet with every dollar we spend and by the choices we make!
