Violent Language, Violent Thinking, Violent Actions

Photo Eco Friendly Mag.com

After the shooting of Rep. Giffords in Tucson, AZ much has been written about the effects words have on our thinking and our actions. Although the shooting has not been linked to any particular phrases or wording, the discussion highlights what linguists and educators have known for awhile – words form how we think and understand the world, not the other way around.

Using violent language forms how we think and understand violence. It affects us over time. We live in a very violent culture and not surprisingly, we use violent language in our speech. Consider everyday acceptable language such as “target marketing,” “take a stab at it,” “bullet point” and “it’s killing me.”

The recent national health insurance debate was another example of language forms how we understand things. The media often referred to the debate as “health care reform” yet it had nothing to do with reforming health care. It had everything to do with reforming health insurance. It is a testament to the savy of the healthy insurance industry that they were able to reframe the language around this topic so effectively. They were able to instill fear regarding healthcare rather than focusing on the availability of health insurance for all. This took the spotlight off the exclusionary practices and high profits of the health insurance industry and instead created fear regarding healthcare.

Similarly, the use of non-gender inclusive language (using male language as normative for both men and women) removes any consideration of women’s experiences as different from men’s, from conversation. Not discussing it means not thinking about it. This is not merely an intellectual exercise. It plays out in real life to the detriment of women’s health, for example, when drugs are tested only on men (again considered as the “norm”) and not on women.

Finally, exclusive use of male language for God limits our understanding of God – and by extension it limits our understanding of ourselves since we are made in God’s image. God is neither male nor female. God encompasses qualties of both genders and more. To understand God’s characteristics as exclusively male because we speak about God as only male limits, for us, how we see God’s activity in our lives. While the metaphor of a “father” is useful sometimes, it doesn’t work all the time. Multiplying our metaphors for God will broaden what we envision that God can do – and therefore what we imagine that we can do.

Part of good mental health is learning to use good speech habits. We can learn to eliminate violent language and metaphors from our everyday speech. We can learn to use gender inclusive language. We can learn to look critically at metaphors and definitions used by the media and corporations and ask, “Who benefits, and who doesn’t benefit, from using this metaphor or definition?”

Exercise Your Mind

Photo R. Meshar

As a culture we are obsessed with maintaining physical health. Although, paradoxically, we don’t provide access to health insurance for millions of people. Yet we know very little about practices for maintaining good mental health.

This recent New York Times article by Oliver Sacks highlights the importance of maintaining good mental health – and ways to do this. Exercise your mind. At my house this means reading, meditation and conversation in place of TV. We have no TV. Most TV shows are junk food for the mind.

Another tip for good mental health is to be around joyful, creative people. I try to fill my life with people who can model plain speaking, honesty, integrity, generosity, truthfulness, kindness and compassion. For me, being with people who embody qualities I would like to have makes it easier for me to see what this looks like everyday.

Mental health also means worrying less. As an adult I need to take care of myself and let other adults do the same. I can only control my own actions and reactions. I can’t control the actions or reactions of others.

An inspiring book by Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements, highlights four simple (but not easy) practices that will help maintain good mental health: always do your best, don’t take it personally, use impeccable speech and lastly, don’t make assumptions.

What do you do to maintain good mental health, increased joy and experience more happiness in your life?

You may also like Yoga, Sexuality and Integrity, Happiness is a Choice and Don’t Worry – Be Happy.

Of Passion Fruit, Persimmons and Pomegranates

Passion Fruit
Persimmons

Fresh Figs
Pomegranates

Being married to someone from another culture means that many day-to-day assumptions are different. But this can be fun and interesting. For example, if I have “fruit” on my grocery list I will check for apples, oranges, bananas or pears in the produce department. On the other hand, if you are from the Middle East and you have “fruit” on your grocery list this time of year, you are very apt to come home with small amounts of passion fruit, persimmons, pomegranates, figs and dates. Maybe even kumquats. This makes for a delectable fruit bowl on my dining table.

Persimmons are truly a romantic fruit. Intensely sweet, when ripened, they are like eating a golden-orange jam right from the fruit itself. Passion fruit is another memorable experience. A little goes a long way. They are a little more expensive but only buy one or two. Choose those that are heavier, they will have more fruit. Cut one open. Eat it slowly and savor.

Next time you are at the grocery store check for other fruit, or vegetables, that you wouldn’t normally look for. We often find many new greens or root vegetables that are unusual for us and yet grown locally. This is great because we can support local agriculture while trying new things.

Who knew there was so much richness and romance right in my local produce department? – but it’s there, waiting for us.

What can you try that is new? Explore. Try it out. Check online to see how you prepare it. Sample the lush vegetarian world at our fingertips. See what you think.

Kumquats

Passion Fruit Sliced
Whole Persimmons

Doors of Dublin

The door to our townhouse needs painting. I would like to do something fun, welcoming and inviting. The doors of Dublin will serve as my inspiration.

Photo Doors of Dublin
Photo Doors of Dublin
Photo Doors of Dublin
Photo Doors of Dublin

Have you ever seen the doors of Dublin? On a visit to Ireland with my daughters a number of years ago we saw them. They are truly amazing. Dozens of, otherwise boring, brick brownstone houses have their front doors painted brilliant, high-gloss colors.

Walking along those streets I saw a story behind each colorful door. Shiny brass hardware, softly lit windows, palladium windows, fresh white trim paint, planters and small front gardens beckoned. Rosemary bushes in planters infused an savory, astringent scent. Giant hydrangeas bloomed in shocking pink and blue. Climbing roses lingered on the brick facade.

The doors serve as a symbol of Irish hospitality which is exceptional. Everywhere we went people opened their homes to us. We experienced Irish hospitality first hand. This included, of course, freshly baked Irish brown bread. It is a quick bread that doesn’t use yeast. But it is warm and delicious, especially topped with local butter.

Painting a door a fun, bright color is inviting, it is welcoming and it is all about hospitality. Like Abraham and Sarah in Genesis 18:1-8, we are wired to connect, to invite, to welcome others in. Our culture is extremely xenophobic – meaning we have great fear of strangers. In fact we even call strangers “aliens” as if they are from another planet!

However, for other cultures and for Christians, it’s about hospitality. For an excellent film about hospitality, I recommend the movie Babette’s Feast. I will share much more about Babette’s Feast in another post.

Afterall, as with Abraham and Sarah, strangers are God in disguise. Mary and Joseph seeking a place to rest. God comes to us in the stranger. In connecting with those who are not like us we become more of who we are meant to be. We develop our personhood. We are not called to be individuals – but persons. God lives in each of us. All is a gift from God. Therefore, what we have is also theirs. Turn it inside out. Invite others in!

Photo Doors of Dublin

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Antique Bookstores in Paris

 

Photo Along the Seine

Bookstores can always entice me – for hours. Today my time with books is usually spent at the library or Half Price Books. But when I was eighteen and living in Meudon near the city of Paris, I remember wandering through the city’s numerous antique bookstores. The books were many colored, weathered, and leather-bound. Antique bookstores are scattered around the Latin Quarter and Ile-de-la-Cité at the city center.  Stepping down into them from the cobblestone streets, they’re usually tiny shops with dim lighting and a dusty scent.

For fresh air I shopped for books and prints along the Seine. Artists and sellers displayed their inventories from small wooden stalls or cubbies attached to the stone river walls.

After browsing at length I enjoyed perusing my latest find at a corner café. A café au lait (French coffee with steamed, frothy milk) within arm’s reach while warming up inside, or sitting outside in the sun in warmer weather. Heavenly.

Go here to see a panoramic view of Paris in fabulous detail.

 

Photo Paris Cafe
Photo Confiserie

 

Photo Paris
Photo Paris Cafe
Photo Baguette

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