Violent Language, Violent Thinking, Violent Actions

Photo Eco Friendly Mag.com

After the shooting of Rep. Giffords in Tucson, AZ much has been written about the effects words have on our thinking and our actions. Although the shooting has not been linked to any particular phrases or wording, the discussion highlights what linguists and educators have known for awhile – words form how we think and understand the world, not the other way around.

Using violent language forms how we think and understand violence. It affects us over time. We live in a very violent culture and not surprisingly, we use violent language in our speech. Consider everyday acceptable language such as “target marketing,” “take a stab at it,” “bullet point” and “it’s killing me.”

The recent national health insurance debate was another example of language forms how we understand things. The media often referred to the debate as “health care reform” yet it had nothing to do with reforming health care. It had everything to do with reforming health insurance. It is a testament to the savy of the healthy insurance industry that they were able to reframe the language around this topic so effectively. They were able to instill fear regarding healthcare rather than focusing on the availability of health insurance for all. This took the spotlight off the exclusionary practices and high profits of the health insurance industry and instead created fear regarding healthcare.

Similarly, the use of non-gender inclusive language (using male language as normative for both men and women) removes any consideration of women’s experiences as different from men’s, from conversation. Not discussing it means not thinking about it. This is not merely an intellectual exercise. It plays out in real life to the detriment of women’s health, for example, when drugs are tested only on men (again considered as the “norm”) and not on women.

Finally, exclusive use of male language for God limits our understanding of God – and by extension it limits our understanding of ourselves since we are made in God’s image. God is neither male nor female. God encompasses qualties of both genders and more. To understand God’s characteristics as exclusively male because we speak about God as only male limits, for us, how we see God’s activity in our lives. While the metaphor of a “father” is useful sometimes, it doesn’t work all the time. Multiplying our metaphors for God will broaden what we envision that God can do – and therefore what we imagine that we can do.

Part of good mental health is learning to use good speech habits. We can learn to eliminate violent language and metaphors from our everyday speech. We can learn to use gender inclusive language. We can learn to look critically at metaphors and definitions used by the media and corporations and ask, “Who benefits, and who doesn’t benefit, from using this metaphor or definition?”

Exercise Your Mind

Photo R. Meshar

As a culture we are obsessed with maintaining physical health. Although, paradoxically, we don’t provide access to health insurance for millions of people. Yet we know very little about practices for maintaining good mental health.

This recent New York Times article by Oliver Sacks highlights the importance of maintaining good mental health – and ways to do this. Exercise your mind. At my house this means reading, meditation and conversation in place of TV. We have no TV. Most TV shows are junk food for the mind.

Another tip for good mental health is to be around joyful, creative people. I try to fill my life with people who can model plain speaking, honesty, integrity, generosity, truthfulness, kindness and compassion. For me, being with people who embody qualities I would like to have makes it easier for me to see what this looks like everyday.

Mental health also means worrying less. As an adult I need to take care of myself and let other adults do the same. I can only control my own actions and reactions. I can’t control the actions or reactions of others.

An inspiring book by Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements, highlights four simple (but not easy) practices that will help maintain good mental health: always do your best, don’t take it personally, use impeccable speech and lastly, don’t make assumptions.

What do you do to maintain good mental health, increased joy and experience more happiness in your life?

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Of Passion Fruit, Persimmons and Pomegranates

Passion Fruit
Persimmons

Fresh Figs
Pomegranates

Being married to someone from another culture means that many day-to-day assumptions are different. But this can be fun and interesting. For example, if I have “fruit” on my grocery list I will check for apples, oranges, bananas or pears in the produce department. On the other hand, if you are from the Middle East and you have “fruit” on your grocery list this time of year, you are very apt to come home with small amounts of passion fruit, persimmons, pomegranates, figs and dates. Maybe even kumquats. This makes for a delectable fruit bowl on my dining table.

Persimmons are truly a romantic fruit. Intensely sweet, when ripened, they are like eating a golden-orange jam right from the fruit itself. Passion fruit is another memorable experience. A little goes a long way. They are a little more expensive but only buy one or two. Choose those that are heavier, they will have more fruit. Cut one open. Eat it slowly and savor.

Next time you are at the grocery store check for other fruit, or vegetables, that you wouldn’t normally look for. We often find many new greens or root vegetables that are unusual for us and yet grown locally. This is great because we can support local agriculture while trying new things.

Who knew there was so much richness and romance right in my local produce department? – but it’s there, waiting for us.

What can you try that is new? Explore. Try it out. Check online to see how you prepare it. Sample the lush vegetarian world at our fingertips. See what you think.

Kumquats

Passion Fruit Sliced
Whole Persimmons

Doors of Dublin

The door to our townhouse needs painting. I would like to do something fun, welcoming and inviting. The doors of Dublin will serve as my inspiration.

Photo Doors of Dublin
Photo Doors of Dublin
Photo Doors of Dublin
Photo Doors of Dublin

Have you ever seen the doors of Dublin? On a visit to Ireland with my daughters a number of years ago we saw them. They are truly amazing. Dozens of, otherwise boring, brick brownstone houses have their front doors painted brilliant, high-gloss colors.

Walking along those streets I saw a story behind each colorful door. Shiny brass hardware, softly lit windows, palladium windows, fresh white trim paint, planters and small front gardens beckoned. Rosemary bushes in planters infused an savory, astringent scent. Giant hydrangeas bloomed in shocking pink and blue. Climbing roses lingered on the brick facade.

The doors serve as a symbol of Irish hospitality which is exceptional. Everywhere we went people opened their homes to us. We experienced Irish hospitality first hand. This included, of course, freshly baked Irish brown bread. It is a quick bread that doesn’t use yeast. But it is warm and delicious, especially topped with local butter.

Painting a door a fun, bright color is inviting, it is welcoming and it is all about hospitality. Like Abraham and Sarah in Genesis 18:1-8, we are wired to connect, to invite, to welcome others in. Our culture is extremely xenophobic – meaning we have great fear of strangers. In fact we even call strangers “aliens” as if they are from another planet!

However, for other cultures and for Christians, it’s about hospitality. For an excellent film about hospitality, I recommend the movie Babette’s Feast. I will share much more about Babette’s Feast in another post.

Afterall, as with Abraham and Sarah, strangers are God in disguise. Mary and Joseph seeking a place to rest. God comes to us in the stranger. In connecting with those who are not like us we become more of who we are meant to be. We develop our personhood. We are not called to be individuals – but persons. God lives in each of us. All is a gift from God. Therefore, what we have is also theirs. Turn it inside out. Invite others in!

Photo Doors of Dublin

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Salut! To Your Health!

Photo A. Meshar

Almost every major religious tradition has an understanding of human health, healing or wholeness as a process of becoming focused on others. In Yoga this is understood as the dharma. The dharma is our duty or obligation to live in right relationship with others. This involves caring for others but also standing up for those who are vulnerable.

Judaism, too, has a tradition of right relationship and preferential option for those who are weak and vulnerable. Many times in the Bible God tells the Israelites that in order to be in right relationship with God they must be in right relationship with others. This entails being able to see the world through others’ eyes. This tradition carries over into Christianity as well.

Even Western medicine advocates volunteering or focusing on others as one of the steps in treating depression.

In our extremely individualistic, North American culture many get caught up in a personal, private spirituality. Christians may refer to “my salvation” or “your salvation.” But theologian Anthony Gittins, CSSp had this to say in his scripture reflection for January 2, 2011:

”Charisms are the Holy Spirit’s gift, but they are intended for others, and thus for giving, for sharing. Because they are not just for ourselves, they must not be selfishly hoarded. Paul emphasizes this when addressing the community at Ephesus, but, in a way, it provides a leitmotif for today’s feast and readings. “For us, and for our salvation” is the way we acknowledge the Incarnation: the coming of Jesus, and that means not simply ‘many,’ but ‘all.’

So each of us, recipients of the divine gift, must also be givers. What we have received, we must give and share with others. The privatization of spirituality – the “me and Jesus” mentality – is bogus and unChristian unless it is counterbalanced by a centrifugal missional outreach. Jesus fills us up so that we can be emptied out as he was, for the good of the world. As we become depleted, God replenishes us; as we are filled, so we can be emptied out again.”

“Salvation” (from the Latin word salve) means healing and wholeness. This is holiness. Service and a focus on others are the means by which we enter into the process of salvation and healing in Christianity. It begins in this life, with our consent, and continues beyond our death. Salvation is both Christianity’s promise and its goal: to make us truly human, who we are meant to be. To make us whole.

Like the orchids in the photo, unless the entire plant system is healthy, none of the individual flowers will bloom or survive. The health of each flower depends on the health of the whole plant.

As the French say: Salut! To your health!

Roxanne

P.S. Tomorrow a short trip to Paris, then I think we shall go to Dublin (via this blog of course!).