“More Roman Than Catholic?” is here!

My newest book has just arrived. Yes! It was a long time in coming but it’s finally here. It is available here, soon at Amazon Books and Barnes & Noble.

The book explores this topic: Are we more Roman than Catholic?

As Roman Catholics, have we over-emphasized values from ancient Roman culture that clash with what it means to be truly Catholic? Have power and privilege for a few and external authority without accountability trumped cooperation, shared leadership and discernment by the whole community? What does this mean for our Catholicity? For the future of the Church?

We have seen a Catholicism that fosters an ongoing reliance on external authority. This is problematic and dangerous. True Roman Catholicism must foster within each person a reliance on internal authority and integrity to one’s own values within a community. A vision of the Church without this is no vision at all.

If you are an interested Catholic or just want to know more – order a copy.

You may also like American Catholicism- How’s it Working?

Truth or Consequences

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We seek truth in our lives. As human beings we innately know that our search for God includes a search for truth. In this search, our ability to think and speak truthfully says a lot about who we are as persons and how we value integrity.

Truthfulness is important. It is the foundation of embarking on the spiritual journey. We begin with a willingness to confront the truth of our lives, our families, our culture and our world.

A refusal to acknowledge, in ourselves or others, the destruction of addiction, the inability to confront controlling, self-centered behavior or the desire to keep family secrets can all have tragic consequences. A consistent refusal to look at the truth inevitably results in unnecessary pain and suffering.

I have noticed that, as a culture, we are not very truthful. We speak about things in ways that are not true, are not clear or are meant to give the impression of something else.

As the work of Paul Ricoeur demonstrated, language forms how we think and view the world. To be able to see reality clearly, it is critical that we speak about what we experience truthfully and honestly. This means we must take care in how we speak about things.

One of the things we do so frequently that we don’t even notice it anymore, is not using gender inclusive language. Although this is slowly changing. We use “men” when we really mean “women and men,” “human beings” or “humanity.” To insist on using “men” only implies that most humans are men (which is incorrect and untruthful) or that “men” is normative – also incorrect.

Similarly, as last month’s Mary’s Pence letter reminded me, “women’s rights” are actually “human rights.”

Another common occurrence in our culture is the use of violent language. I am often guilty of this. Violent language gives the impression that violence is OK, when it is not. Why not use peaceful language instead? So “bullet points” could easily be “main points” or “key points.” “Target marketing” could be “focused marketing.” You can think of many more examples.

Here’s another example. We shouldn’t speak about “health care reform” when what we are really discussing is “health insurance reform.”  The focus should be on health insurance companies, not health care providers. But our untruthful way of speaking clouds this issue.

There are many other ways that we speak untruthfully about things and this makes it difficult for us to see clearly, or to respond in appropriate ways. My husband has an article about this called “The Great Language Barrier Beef” you can read Part 1 here. If you like you can continue reading Part 2 here.

In his classic book, The Four Agreements, Miguel Ruiz maintains that one of the highest virtues we can work toward is to “use impeccable speech” or always speak clearly and truthfully.

“Say what you mean and mean what you say” is wise advice – or as Jesus said, “Let your ‘yes’ mean ‘yes’, and your ‘no’ mean ‘no'” (Matt 5:37). This doesn’t mean that we should speak about things in a way that will intentionally hurt or offend. Rather, we should convey the truth with honesty, love and integrity. We can be truth tellers and truthful speakers.

“Then you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free” (John 8:32).

You may also like Ugly Truth About School Funding, White Privilege, Violent Language, Violent Thinking, Violent Actions.

The Sounds of Music

Do you make room for music in your life? Music has always been a big part of my life. I love playing the piano. The guitar I like too – but less so. Probably because I can’t sing. The nice thing is that you’re never too old to learn an instrument!

During the winter months my husband and I enjoy evenings at the St. Paul Chamber Orchestra. The tickets are surprisingly inexpensive for good seats. The musicians are world famous – and you can hear the difference. It’s a wonderful way to end a busy week. We slip into our seats, the lights dim and beautiful music carries me away for the next two hours. Afterward my husband takes me to dinner at Pazzaluna, a local Italian restaurant. Sigh . . .

This year and last year too I gave away many of my CD’s. In their place I listen to customized music on-line. You can create your own unique radio station, designed just for you at Pandora, the genome music project. Another good option is SOMA FM. Or stretch yourself by listening to music from another culture, such as African music at AccuRadio. Or during this time of Lent consider Taize or Gregorian Chant – a wonderful way to fall asleep.

If you’re like us with no IPod, using a small cable, connect your computer or phone to your speakers so the high quality sound can fill your space. Creating a soothing background or a more energizing atmosphere.

Sometimes the best music is simply listening to the sound of ocean waves or rain falling on the roof as you fall asleep, like we did at Tortuguerro in Costa Rica. Below are some pictures of the ocean that was just outside our window in Tortuguerro.

Photo A. Meshar
Photo A. Meshar
Photo A. Meshar
Photo A. Meshar

Life is better with music.

You may also like Pura Vida!, Beachy Days, Sand Fantasy Retreat and Dancing Isuzus in Paris.

What Do You Do With Your Suffering?

During the past few months, a number of people I know have died. What do we do when the unimaginable happens? How can we use our pain, sorrow and suffering for personal growth?

Of course it is possible to grow without suffering. Which is why we don’t say that we desire suffering. Neither does God desire it for us. But to live is to take a risk. To live is to enter the unknown. Living tests us, challenges us. Illness and accidents can happen to anyone – and do. Relationships end. Those we love die. Life entails suffering, by definition.

So then, do we allow our suffering to incapacitate us? Victimize us? Or do we use it to learn, become stronger and deepen who we are meant to be? This is our task.

What do you do with your suffering?

Look around. Clinging to comfort and structuring life to avoid suffering limits our lives, relationships and our humanity. Christianity teaches the reverse. Embrace the cross.

Jesus embraced the suffering of the cross. In the gospels Jesus was deeply relational with others and with God. This is what made him truly human. It is what will make us truly human too.

Those who have varied and strong relationships are better equipped to handle the pain or suffering that comes with entering into relationships or entering into life and death. This is what it means to be human.

Scriptures can be a good resource for learning how others created something good from pain or suffering. Scripture stories are about what we do with our pain. These are the stories of Genesis, Exodus, Job, Ruth and Naomi and of course Jesus and the resurrection. Entering into pain and suffering can be transformational – if we let it.

What kind of healing are we open to? Only physical healing? Or perhaps emotional, psychological or spiritual healing?

To know that there is something transcendent in each of us is to know that at least a part of us will continue beyond our death. Death is not the end. But it is the limit of our suffering in this world.

Knowing this gives us hope and allows us to enter into the risk of life. Knowing how to use pain or suffering as a vehicle for growth allows us to enter into suffering so we can move through it. It passes. Having experienced it gives us empathy with others who suffer too. We can reach out.

Conversely, our culture values a life of comfort and avoidance of suffering. “Be nice and quiet.” “Don’t get involved.” “Family before others.” We can live in a home with an attached garage for years and never meet our neighbors.

But avoiding new relationships or allowing fear to limit where we go in the world, in order to resist emotional or psychological suffering, doesn’t work. Rather it results in anxiety, dysfunction, addiction, depression and worse. The ability to embrace suffering and then let it go, is the skill that makes us resilient, allowing us to remain hopeful and open to the future.

God is the lure and promise of a better future, different from the past.

We can choose happiness in the midst of suffering. As many can attest, the paradox is that sorrow and joy can coexist. Out of deep suffering can come peace, life-long joy and new life. Spring arrives.

You may also like The Story of the Wolf, Irish Heritage, Don’t Worry Be Happy and Surprised by the Spirit.