by Roxanne -

InnerPeace – Biking Uphill

Photo R. Meshar

This is a brief discussion about mutuality in relationships. Are you doing all of the “heavy lifting” in some of your relationships? Perhaps you do most of the inviting and arranging of activities. If you do – and this is important – does this feel out of balance to you?

Healthy adult relationships should be like riding a bike. It requires some effort, but it should be fun. It shouldn’t feel like biking up hill most of the time. There should be effortless coasting downhill, feeling the breeze on your face. This is especially true of relationships where you spend a lot of time.

Think about it. If you feel out of balance in a relationship take a step back. Do less. Give the other person a chance to contribute. If this is a close relationship, explain that you feel you are doing too much and need to re-balance. If contribution is not forth coming, allow the relationship to move to a level where both of you are making similar effort – whatever level that may be.

Enjoy the new ease you’ve just incorporated into your life.

You may also like InnerPeace – The Cinderella Syndrome, InnerPeace – Don’t Live Small and How Much is Enough?

by Roxanne -

Hand Wash Cold: Care Instructions for an Ordinary Life

As someone who reads more theology and books on spirituality than the average person – it’s wonderful to be able to hold up extraordinary books in this area. Especially since there is so much in bookstores that isn’t very good.

Hand Wash Cold: Care Instructions for an Ordinary Life by Karen Maezen Miller (New World Library, 2010) is about as deeply spiritual as you can get. Miller is a seasoned, spiritual writer in the Buddhist tradition who understands that “your life is your monastery” – a phrase from the book that I loved and remembered. It sums up her understanding of life.

If you have ever thought that it was necessary to get away to another world, maybe a monastery, in order to deepen your spiritual life – reconsider that idea. In a world where most theology and spiritual writing has been done by men in religious life, Miller uses real, ordinary life, even laundry – something most women know well – to lift up the transcendence of our existence found right in the most ordinary aspects of our everyday lives.

Just consider her chapter titles – Toughest Stains: Getting Out the Traces of Self or Spin Cycle: Changing the Ending. I smiled just reading them!

“Ever found yourself up to your elbows in the messy stuff of your own everyday life and wondered, ‘Is this all there is?’ Karen Maezen Miller answers that age-old question with a resounding ‘Yes.’ Read this deceptively simple, deeply wise little book not to change your life but to fall quietly, unequivocally back in love with the life you already have.”
— Katrina Kenison, author of The Gift of an Ordinary Day

Yes, this is it exactly – “fall . . . in love with the life you already have.” Miller writes clearly and with insight. This is a book you will want to reread and then give to someone else, as I did.

Our spiritual lives are not separate from our secular or everyday lives – rather our deepest spiritual life is present exactly in the midst of our daily life. It is we who are not present to the transcendent always with us.

The question is, “How do we become present to the sacred?” Miller’s Hand Wash Cold is a delightful guide.

You may also like Babette’s Feast, Come to the Feast and Labyrinths.

 

by Roxanne -

Buy Local – Support Your Community

People often ask me, “What can I do?” when thinking about the global depression, foreclosuregate, political gridlock, corporate greed or the environment. One answer is easy and simple: buy local.

This is a very strategic choice. Buying local keeps jobs in your community, it keeps your hard-earned money in your community and it supports small business owners in your community. It also eliminates shipping charges when you buy food or products from the immediate surrounding area where you live. Be strategic with your money. Use your purchasing power in a way that supports your own best interests.

We try to buy local whenever we can and we encourage every organization that we are involved with to do the same, whether it is a political group, church group or book club.

We use “Community Sponsored Agriculture” (CSA) for our vegetables, fruit and cheese. The portions are large so we split with another family. Usually a weekly delivery is to a location in your neighborhood. Farmers’ Markets can work just as well. No shipping cost or time since everything is grown nearby. This means everything lasts TWICE AS LONG in the refrigerator. It allows us to eat seasonally from April to January. You can check out CSA’s and Farmers’ Markets in Minnesota at Minnesota Grown. It’s also a good site to check for apple & berry picking along with local honey, wines and artisan cheeses.

Grocery stores we use are Cub, Byerly’s or Kowalski’s – again local businesses. Cub, especially notes “local” on product signs in their produce departments. Unfortunately only Kowalski’s carries FAIR TRADE coffee, so we go there when we need to buy coffee – an expensive item. Happily, FAIR TRADE coffee is often the less expensive choice.

MidTown Global Market on Lake Street in Minneapolis allows us to purchase gifts, cards, cheeses, olives, soaps and other items from baby start-up businesses. Most products you find there will be FAIR TRADE – so especially important to us. Global Market is a wonderful incubator for neighboring entrepreneurs and ethnic businesses owned by new immigrants. Walking through Global Market is a “United Nations” experience in itself and well worth the trip.

United Noodles on 24th Street just off Minnehaha Ave. in Mpls. is by far the largest Japanese grocery store I have ever been in. If you have never seen 40+ lineal feet of every kind of rice and noodles imaginable – plan a visit. Their produce department rivals any I’ve seen in Europe for display, color and quality. But do watch labels – there are often locally made options so you can avoid buying items shipped all the way from Japan (ouch!).

Over the years we’ve found many locally owned, ethnic restaurants. Owners are quick to help guests choose menu items they may like, with little or a lot of spice. They are delighted to serve large parties and remember you – you are important to their business.

We don’t eat out very often, but when we do here are local (Eagan) restaurants we give our business to – Hoban Korean Restaurant, Classic Saigon and Magic Thai Cafe for Vietnamese, Sambol for Indian cuisine (great chai tea), Pardon My French, Ansari’s Mediterranean Grill and El Loro Mexican Restaurant. Lunch, dinners, take-out and large group visits are consistently good. Prices are reasonable for all and we are supporting locally owned, small businesses. Most of these restaurants use local produce for freshness too, an added bonus. Perfect!

Dunn Brothers Coffee, is a local coffee roaster and coffee chain with a location on Diffley east of Lexington that uses FAIR TRADE coffee – so we like them too. Ring Mountain Creamery makes their own authentic Italian gelato on the premises and you will taste the difference, even while you watch them make it. Both Dunn Bros. and Ring Mountain are excellent places to meet for book clubs, and group meetings of 10-20. Ring Mountain even has a meeting area separate from the main seating area that can be reserved in advance – no charge.

We try to use SuperAmerica and Holiday for gasoline since they are local distributors – which eases the pain very slightly.

Check Buy Local MN.com. when you are ready to make a purchase. Chances are there is a local provider.

What about you? How do you vote with your dollars? What local businesses do you like to support? Leave a comment and let us know.

You may also like Healthy Food is a Luxury for the Rich, What Can You and I Do? and Truth or Consquences.

 

 

by Roxanne -

InnerPeace – Who Do You Hang With?

Photo R. Meshar

Who do you want to be? Who do you hang out with? These are two interconnected and related questions. I have learned that if I want to be someone who is kind, inclusive, truthful, generous and compassionate, it is important to spend time with people who embody these virtues.

We need people in our lives who can demonstrate what kindness  or compassion look like everyday. Spending time with others who are other-centered helps me to see the everyday choices that this involves. This gives me the opportunity to make similar choices.

Conversely, if I spend time with people who are self-centered, self-focused or interested in living a life of comfort, then I will begin to experience these dysfunctions as “normal.”

How do children learn to make choices? From watching the choices that adults close to them make. How do we learn? The same way. We learn by watching the choices made by those whom we admire.

Where to find people who embody virtuous choices? Volunteer at a homeless shelter or a non-profit near you. Chances are good you will meet other volunteers, homeless women and children and others struggling who demonstrate these virtues daily. Sometimes churches are good places too – though that’s not a guarantee.

Therefore, to become the person you want to be, think carefully about who you spend your time with. Who do you hang with?

You may also like Introducing InnerPeace, Irish Heritage and Difficult People.