Charity and Justice

Photo CA Air Resources Board

Many people are unclear regarding what is charity and what is justice. In fact, the boundary isn’t always black and white. There are gray areas. But generally, charity provides immediate aid for suffering, while justice works to end the underlying causes.

Here’s a biblical example often used to explain the idea of biblical justice, right relationshps or making things right. Moses didn’t ask Pharaoh to give the Israelites better working conditions, shorter hours and health care. Instead, Moses asked to end their entire economic system of slavery. He asked for justice. “Let my people go!” Moses’ request was to end the underlying system of slavery that caused the suffering.

A good example for us today is hunger. Donating food to the food shelf or volunteering at Feed My Starving Children is charity. We could donate food forever and there would still be hunger in the world because the root causes of hunger wouldn’t have been eliminated. On the other hand, Justice is working with organizations like Mary’s Pence or Bread for the World to end the underlying causes of hunger.

We need both and we each need to do both. Charity provides immediate results. This alleviates immediate suffering while motivating us to continue to work for justice, the changing of laws and systems. Justice takes longer and requires the coordinated efforts of many. It can be discouraging because we don’t see immediate results – but it is even more necessary for ending suffering and bringing peace to the world.

Becoming truly human requires real freedom. Stated another way, as long as we are held captive by that which prevents us from choosing in our own best interests (i.e. working for the good of all) we are not truly free.

Justice begins with education. The bible is replete with examples of people escaping injustice in the dominant culture. Exodus and the Exile are two well known examples of stories that work as metaphors for our own spiritual journey to freedom, but also serve as models for real world oppression.

Jesus too, freed people from physical and spiritual oppression or afflictions. But he also told many parables about how the world could be different, more just, about the in-breaking of the reign of God or the Kingdom (e.g. Matt 8:18-23, 20:1-16, 22:2-14 ). These parables helped others to become empowered to escape the actual oppression of families, tribes and the dominant culture of his time.

Scripture scholar Marcus Borg explained this idea of the bible as a collection of stories about justice and freedom in a talk he gave in April 2011, at Westminster Forum entitled “Speaking Christian.”

We cannot be truly free until we are no longer held captive by unjust ideas, patterns and practices of our dominant culture.

Click on the links above. Learn more. Share what you learn.

“If you want peace, work for justice” Pope Paul VI.

You may also like Question the Culture, Power of Framing and Myth of Objective Reporting.

Wealth Transfers

As I’ve mentioned in other posts, we need to start talking about things as they really are. In other words “tax cuts” are really wealth transfers and we should call them that.

On this tenth anniversary of 9/11 perhaps Americans can begin some considered reflection. Can we use the needless pain and suffering caused by 9/11 to think about how the rest of the world views us? Changes need to happen so we are not terrorized and we no longer wage economic terrorism on others.

Today DH has a post, “Wealth Transfer – need more examples? #2,” that I think explains this well.

You may also like On Osama bin Laden’s Death, Truth or Consequences and Exercise Your Mind.

 

InnerPeace – The Cinderella Syndrome

Photo R. Meshar

Have you ever suffered from the Cinderella Syndrome? You might know it by its other name, Over Functioning. This is a syndrome I know well.

I’ve always wondered, why didn’t Cinderella simply leave? If she could take care of herself and three other adults (stepmother and two stepsisters) then she could certainly live on her own and take care of only herself. Also, if she was old enough to marry a prince then wasn’t she old enough to leave a toxic stepmother and stepsisters?

Unfortunately, unlike the movie, living the Cinderella Syndrome will not result in a prince who will come and carry you off to a castle in the clouds. So abandon the Cinderella Syndrome. Instead create a better life for yourself with more peace, joy and happiness.

On one level, the Cinderella Syndrome often persists as a holdover from a childhood where you are loved because of what you do rather than who you are. Actually, this kind of love isn’t love at all because by definition, “love” is unconditional, therefore not dependent on what you do. Doing more will not make others love you more. As adults we need to realize that our love and valuation of ourselves has to come from deep within – not from others. If you didn’t receive approval as a child (a form of emotional abuse) sometimes this takes awhile to figure out.

On another level, it’s easy to fall into a pattern of over functioning. Moms can easily succumb to this. For example, if you find yourself making lunches for children who are more than capable of making their own lunches, or doing all the grocery shopping, laundry, care-taking, social arranging, gift giving and meal preparation you may be suffering from the Cinderella Syndrome.

Our “I’m busy” culture also promotes the Cinderella Syndrome. Employees can suffer from this syndrome too as can adult children of aging parents. If you chronically feel under-appreciated (a maid living in the cinders) then you are definitely suffering from the Cinderella Syndrome.

So how do you recover from it? By stepping back and re-evaluating. If you are married or living with someone re-negotiate how your household will run and how chores and childcare will be shared. Take time to consider what your needs are and what you are willing to do. Know what changes will be necessary for you. Two healthy adults should share chores in a way that is mutual and comfortable for both over time. Even if one parent works at home, childcare and household chores are the responsibility of both parents.

If you are experiencing the Cinderella Syndrome in a relationship at work, or elsewhere in your life, the same process needs to happen. Evaluate what is comfortable for you. Then start with direct communication and negotiation including a time frame for change.

If things don’t change after awhile, then ultimately you need to consider if you want to participate in a relationship where your needs aren’t considered important. Protect yourself first. Get counseling. Learn coping skills. Healthy adult relationships require mutuality.

Lastly, if you are over functioning for other adults – stop. Adults do not take care of other adults, nor do they worry about the choices or decisions other adults make. This is true whether they are adult siblings, parents or adult children.

It’s possible that others will become upset or angry when you stop doing for them what they should be doing for themselves. On the other hand, we are not responsible for others’ feelings of anger nor can we bring their happiness. We can only be responsible for our own joy and happiness. Offer a relationship of mutuality to others instead. If they accept, wonderful. If not, that is their choice.

Our responsibility to ourselves is to act in a way that honors who we are. Seek to build healthy relationships of mutuality with everyone around you.

A life without worrying about other adults, with honest relationships of giving and receiving, while doing that which brings you happiness, is the way to grow peace in your heart and joy in your life.

In the end, living a Cinderella Syndrome life isn’t really living.

Justice begins within.

You may also like InnerPeace – Don’t Live Small, Introducing InnerPeace and Fill Your Life With Fabulous.

#cinderellasyndrome #overfunctioning #enabling #victimpsychology #busynessaddiction

Coat Check

Photo R. Meshar

Fall is approaching. A good time to assess my front hall closet. How many coats and jackets do I really need? How much is enough?

Currently I have four coats & jackets that you can see here in the photo on the left. I have a white denim jacket, not shown here – so really five coats/jackets. I am checking resale shops for one mid-length, hooded jacket with a lining that could be used as both a raincoat, lightweight jacket and warmer jacket. Then I could donate my both the lightweight jacket and the raincoat.

In addition I have 2 pairs of winter boots and assorted gloves, mittens and scarves. How much is enough when so many have nothing? How much is too much?

You may also like Closet Check, Simplify, Simplify, Simplify, and The Richness of Simplicity.

Golden Temple Guests

My last post asked the question, “Who is a guest?” At the Golden Temple this question is answered every day. The least among us are treated like royalty. DH writes,

“I ate lunches there, and washed dishes and even helped cook some of the stuff, about 5 times… Quite an experience, very much like the pics show. The one thing about Golden Temple: It is CROWDED beyond anything Americans or Westerners EVER feel comfy with. You get about 15 cubic inches of space <G>… The picture of the kid sleeping is quite peaceful, but when I was there, there would have been another 15 folks sitting, sleeping and otherwise occupying the space in the picture… And yeah, the kid would have been asleep unbothered right in the middle of that :)))”

This is the vision. See for yourself. Take a virtual visit to the The Golden Temple.

You may also like Malls of Justice, Does Everyone Have a Voice? and Babette’s Feast.