“Happiness isn’t a destination. It’s a way of living.”
This is so true. We can live with a victimhood mentality believing that life is something to be fearful of or avoiding risk at all costs.
Or we can live with a feeling of joy, contentment and happiness that comes from deep inside ourselves.
In either case, we can’t achieve true happiness by pursuing it directly. Happiness is actually a byproduct or result of the orientation we choose toward life, toward living. It is the result of focusing outwards, on others first. This is a risky way to live. But it is the only way to truly live.
Our deepest joy comes from doing what we love – to help others.
What is your orientation to life? Do you hesitate, resist and hold back? Do you immerse yourself in life and let it wash over you? Or do you have an altogether different orientation to living?
Welcome to a five minute online retreat in a lush, autumn garden. Take a deep breath in – – – exhale slowly. Repeat as needed. Then scroll down and imagine yourself enjoying this warm, autumn day.
(This post will remain permanently under Online Retreats on the bar above.)
Photo R. Meshar
Photo R. Meshar
Photo R. Meshar
Photo R. Meshar
Photo R. Meshar
Photo R. Meshar
Photo R. Meshar
Photo R. Meshar
Photo R. Meshar
Photo R. Meshar
Photo R. Meshar
Photo R. Meshar
Photo R. Meshar
Photo R. Meshar
Photo R. Meshar
Photo R. Meshar
Photo R. Meshar
Photo R. Meshar
Photo R. Meshar
Photo R. Meshar
Photo R. Meshar
Photo R. Meshar
Now inhale and exhale breathing evenly. Sit still for a few moments. Hold the feeling of walking in the garden with you as you continue with your day.
If one is truly living an authentic life – then this means being the author of one’s life – the root meaning of authentic. As a writer I know that writing or authoring requires editing.
My friend T. mentioned that she was in the process of “editing relationships” in her life. That’s it! That’s the ongoing process. Every relationships doesn’t need to continue, particularly if it no longer gives good energy or joy to my life.
Think of the care I give to choosing my life work, activities I participate in, where I live, what I read, clothing and even furniture. I need to give even more care to the relationships that go into my life.
Editing my relationships – and all of the content – of my life is one of the most important things I can do to move toward living a truly authentic and genuine life.
So far I’ve been writing posts for this blog for over a year now. I thought I might run out of topics for posts. But instead it has confirmed for me that the world is endlessly interesting and fascinating, as are people. There is always more to ponder, perceive, understand, be in awe of.
Quite frankly, it’s also made me realize that people who are bored are boring people. Evidently they can’t look past their own noses to see all the amazing things going on all the time, all around them. They have a self-imposed, limited ability to simply observe and take in the world.
Unplug. Take a technology vacation, a technology break, a technology hiatus. Disconnect. Do it for a week. Do it for a day or like Nick Bilton, do it for thirty minutes a day. Just do it.
Learn to connect in a different way. Pico Iyer did it. He calls it the Joy of Quiet in his New York Times article, writing:
MAYBE that’s why more and more people I know, even if they have no religious commitment, seem to be turning to yoga, or meditation, or tai chi; these aren’t New Age fads so much as ways to connect with what could be called the wisdom of old age. Two journalist friends of mine observe an “Internet sabbath” every week, turning off their online connections from Friday night to Monday morning, so as to try to revive those ancient customs known as family meals and conversation. Finding myself at breakfast with a group of lawyers in Oxford four months ago, I noticed that all their talk was of sailing — or riding or bridge: anything that would allow them to get out of radio contact for a few hours.
Other friends try to go on long walks every Sunday, or to “forget” their cellphones at home. A series of tests in recent years has shown, Mr. Carr points out, that after spending time in quiet rural settings, subjects “exhibit greater attentiveness, stronger memory and generally improved cognition. Their brains become both calmer and sharper.” More than that empathy, as well as deep thought, depends (as neuroscientists like Antonio Damasio have found) on neural processes that are “inherently slow.” The very ones our high-speed lives have little time for.
I spent 10 minutes trying to compose the perfect shot, moving my phone from side to side, adjusting light settings and picking the perfect filter.
Then, I stopped. Here I was, watching this magnificent sunset, and all I could do is peer at it through a tiny four-inch screen.
“What’s wrong with me?” I thought. “I can’t seem to enjoy anything without trying to digitally capture it or spew it onto the Internet.”
Hence my New Year’s resolution: In 2012, I plan to spend at least 30 minutes a day without my iPhone. Without Internet, Twitter, Facebook and my iPad. Spending a half-hour a day without electronics might sound easy for most, but for me, 30 unconnected minutes produces the same anxious feelings of a child left accidentally at the mall.
Those anxious feelings? Those are the feelings of immaturity, of resisting wrestling with our own interior, of refusing to embrace the reality of our own lack of control. We need to grow up. We need to develop the adult ability to make space for silence. Space to listen to our own wisdom. Space to simply be. Then we can begin to live comfortably inside our own skin. Then we can begin to live comfortably with others.
Turn off your TV. Stop your stereo. Rest your iPhone and iPad. Experience withdrawal from your “crackberry.”
Unplug. Connect in a different way. Experience silence. Just be.
