Today I have been thinking about approval and self esteem. Where does our sense of feeling approved of come from? As children we seek approval from our parents as a way to build our self-esteem. Unfortunately many of us may have had parents who were incapable of providing the approval we needed. However, as adults we can and must change that. We must provide ourselves with our own high approval ratings.
We have a responsibility to nurture and develop our own self-esteem. We have the task of providing ourselves with the emotional support we need. No one else can possibly provide us with all of our emotional needs. Further, mature adults are not interested in parenting other adults. What do you do to maintain a high approval rating for yourself?
As mature adults we value our self worth and are not dependant on others to provide us with self esteem, self confidence or self respect. What other adults can do for us and what we can do for them, is provide a safe place to listen and share while being encouraging and supportive. Developing a network of people who can be in relationship with us in this way helps us stay emotionally healthy and confident.
Healthy adult relationships are mutual, meaning both people participate in a balanced way over time. If the relationship is no longer mutual, then changes need to be made or perhaps the relationship has run its course. There is no blame attached to ending a relationship. It’s simply a recognition that the relationship is no longer a good fit for one or the other.
But where there is a good fit, relationships can deepen and enrich our lives immeasurably. These friendships bring out the best in us, want the best for us and give us energy and joy.
Here’s to more healthy relationships in the world.