by Roxanne -

Don’t Worry – Be Happy

 

Photo A. Meshar

In my life, worry is a symptom of co-dependancy. When I find myself worrying I have to stop and think. It is a constant task to remind myself that adults don’t worry about other adults.

Adults allow others to make their own choices. Advice may not be welcome unless specifically asked for. My task is to be supportive and encouraging – especially when a decision for someone doesn’t work out as expected.

Meanwhile, it is my job to pay attention to the choices I make and the consequences of those choices. Doing this requires that I know what my values are and make choices that align with those values. This gives me day to day integrity, meaning my interior is aligned with my exterior choices. Then it is up to me to be clear with myself and communicate clearly with others about what I am willing and/or not willing to do. Once I have communicated this, how they deal with that information is their responsibility, not mine. I have no control over the reactions or responses of others.

When someone doesn’t respect my choices I have a responsibility to clearly restate them. If that doesn’t work then I can choose to leave or not participate. If someone consistently doesn’t respect my choices then I need to decide if this person belongs in my life. It doesn’t matter who they are, or if they are family or not. As I have already mentioned in a prior post, arbitrary genetic linkage doesn’t automatically confer “family” status. In the end, someone who isn’t respectful of me, by definition, doesn’t fall into the category of family.

People we work with are another situation. But even then, we have a responsibility to remove ourselves from non-respectful or toxic situations in the long term.

For me, living this out takes reflection and practice. But constant practice keeps my life confrontation-free because I am not passing judgment on other’s choices or requests, merely stating what I am willing to do. It also keeps my life worry-free and drama-free releasing lots of energy for other things – like this blog!

You may also like Happiness is a Choice and Celebration of Family.

by Roxanne -

Yoga Wisdom

Photo Yoga Journal.com

The past few months I have embarked on the study of yoga. While I have been practicing yoga for awhile now I decided to learn more about its philosophy, history and traditions.

Practicing the poses of yoga are only one aspect of this tradition. Through the practice I am really learning about my own limits and how they vary from day to day. I am learning what fits my body and what works best to keep my mind focused and present for each pose. In this way I am learning to be my own teacher. Being my own teacher means being able to recognize what is healthy for me. This wisdom can be carried over into the rest of my life. What choices will keep me present and focused? What choices will keep me physically healthy? What choices will keep me healthy mentally?

Practicing yoga is one way to connect with the teacher within. Deep inside, we have a center point, a place that is our most authentic self. Access it and we can tap into our own wisdom wherever and whenever we need it. Confident in our ability to be present to this wisdom we can work to change systems of poverty, lack and injustice in the world.

Find joy and peace within. Become your own teacher.

You may also like The Human Experience, What Do You Do With Your Suffering? and Spring Cleaning – Saucha.

by Roxanne -

Stars and Spirit Sightings

Photo NASA

Do you know about Spirit sightings? Spirit sightings have some interesting qualities or characteristics. They are unexpected and turn conventional wisdom upside down. They also make us think differently. Here’s a story about a recent Spirit sighting.

A friend of mine was looking for a job, as millions are in this economic depression. She is also in school working toward a master of divinity degree. However the job that was offered to her was in a city 2 1/2 hours away. After pondering and reflecting, she made an unconventional decision. She decided to move to the city with the job and reverse commute for school. So far this is nothing unusual. What is unusual is that the job was a part time job, just 12 hours per week. Now THAT is unusual. Plus, once she made the decision to move two unexpected things happened. She found an amazing apartment (space, light, architectural details) for an equally amazingly low rent and her new employer offered to absorb some of her moving expense. I don’t think I have ever heard of an employer reimbursing someone’s moving expenses for a part time job. Have you? Sooooo, when we are willing step out in trust, the universe (God, ultimate reality) responds and supports us in any and every way that She can.

This is what we learn from the story of the Wise Men in the Gospel of Matthew. Like the Wise Men, we start out our journeys on the conventional path. Along the way we encounter star light, inspiration, or a deeper reality. If we trust, we will return to our true home by an unexpected and unconventional route.

Check out these beautiful star images from NASA. May you encounter brilliant star light on your journey!

Roxanne

by Roxanne -

What’s in a Word?

"A rose by any other name . . ."

Last year I chose a word to meditate and focus on. That word was abundance. Reflecting on that one word helped me see how much abundance I have in my life – in many places that I had overlooked. I could see how abundance was present in my life in so many unexpected ways.

The new year calls for a new word. What will it be? I will watch for a few days and see if a word presents itself . . .

by Roxanne -

After-Christmas Tree Hangover

Photo Apartment Therapy, Elle Interior

Real Christmas trees were a great idea back in the day when people heated their homes with log fireplaces. But I’m wondering if they make much sense  for the world today. It takes 10-12 years to grow a pine tree to the size needed for a Christmas tree. Trees help conserve the soil and put good things into the atmosphere. Then we cut them down by the millions to use in our homes for a month of decoration. The week after Christmas most of these trees will be wrapped in a large trash bag and set out at the curb. Hopefully some will be composted but in large urban areas most are destined for the landfill or an incinerator (ugh!). Although one study insists real trees are less damaging, why not change the paradigm completely and be kind to the environment instead?  I think we are imaginative enough to find even better options. Find some inspiration at Apartment Therapy here.

On another holiday note, we spend most of the year conserving electricity, turning down the thermostat, turning off lights and appliances when not in use. Then in December we plug in lots of lights? Just wondering . . .

Maybe we can consider new ways of thinking about Christmas trees, ornaments, holiday reminders and how we might enjoy them, beyond just getting an artificial tree.