by Roxanne -

Women and Children are Made Poor – by Men

In a previous post I wrote about how conventional marriage makes women and children vulnerable to poverty. The fact is that the majority of those made poor are women and children. But the ideal of conventional marriage is very powerful in our culture and idolized in magazines (Bride’s for example), wedding rituals (father giving away the bride, showers, bachelor parties, etc.) and in the way we idolize motherhood, but not fatherhood. It’s further promoted by men paying women less than men for the same work and inculturating women to be the primary care providers for children. Let’s be clear – women and children don’t just happen to succumb to poverty. People don’t just happen to be poor. They are made poor by men.

Starting with the fictional idea that there is a “public” and “private” realm – men grab power over the “public” realm and women are mostly relegated to the “private.” This means that men make laws and decisions affecting both “realms,” with women having almost no voice.

The result of these fictional realms is this, for example: violence committed against men in the “public realm” is considered assault and directly punishable by law. Violence committed by men against women or children in the “private realm” – at home – is considered a “domestic” issue and often not reported, much less punished.

The best thing we can do – as women – is not to buy into the cultural fiction that home or family is primarily the domain of women, or that “family” is everything. Ask questions -especially of men.

Get educated. Read. Genetic linkage is just that – genetic only. Where’s the arbitrary cut off line? If you go back far enough ALL are family. The idea of a “private” realm (mainly for women) and a “public” realm (for men) is pure fiction and promoted to the benefit of men who make decisions affecting everyone in the public realm and keep women powerless and poor in the private. There are no separate “realms.” All is political and women should have an equal voice in either. This means participating in political discussions. Other fictions include nationalism, “family first/only,” tribalism, clanism, etc. Ask, who is really “my family”? We all are – even though there are people with whom we have close emotional ties.

You may also like What Patriarchy Looks Like Everyday.

by Roxanne -

Undecided is Undecided

Part of my summer reading included a few books that looked promising from my local library’s “newly published” shelf. Undecided: How to Ditch the Endless Quest for Perfect and Find the Career – and Life – That’s Right for You by Barbara Kelley and Shannon Kelley (Seal Press: 2011) looked at the inability of millennium women to decide on a career. I thought it would be interesting to see what challenges and struggles face women of the next generation. The authors did a fair job of demonstrating the challenges and ambivalence facing young women who were raised to believe they could whatever they wanted to do. They used personal stories and some demographic statistics to make their point.

However, a large portion of the book explains the ongoing dilemma for women: how to work in jobs that pay less than men – so less money – while trying to raise a family. This is not a choice that men ever make, because as the authors spend time explaining, the business world assumes that men have a wife at home full time to take care of children and women will leave either to get married (if single) or to have children (if married), so pay them less for the same work (190-192). The fact neither assumption is any longer the case in today’s world is lost on corporate America. These are systemic issues that need to be addressed. The authors are clear that personalizing this issue will not solve the problem (182-183).

Further, they noted that in some countries, such as Sweden, these issues have been addresses systemically. Laws have been changed to require both men and women to take leave to care for infants or family members. The authors observed that this has narrowed the pay differential between men and women in Sweden significantly in just ten years (200-201).

But then these authors fall out of bed. Rather than provide ways that women can work to legislate similar laws in this country – they do exactly what they previously said will not work – they personalize this issue. Chapters thirteen and fourteen discuss how women should just turn inward, learn what they are really passionate about and all these problems will somehow be solved. They use the same individual stories from earlier in the book to demonstrate how it will work.

This is magical thinking at it’s worst (or best depending on your POV). Turning inward and learning more about ourselves can be helpful – but unfortunately it will not eliminate the inherent structural issues that women face – being paid less for the same work and society not valuing the work required to care for society’s children. This is the kind of thinking that must change. Unlike the authors hopeless suggestion to turn inward, women and men must see the ugly discrimination built into the system as it really is. Then it can be changed. Women must demand systemic change from men, and both can look to successful models (elements of Sweden for example) for ways to make things different.

So – I’m undecided about this book. It does help the reader see the dilemmas facing millennium women. But neither author understands the systemic changes necessary to solve the dilemma brought about by the discrimination of men against women.

 

by Roxanne -

The Healing

If you liked the story The Help, you’ll enjoy The Healing. It’s a great novel for summer reading from Jonathan Odell, a Minnesota author. Beautifully written, the reader is instantly transported into a plantation in the Deep South.

Rich in mood and atmosphere, The Healing is a warmhearted novel about the unbreakable bonds between three generations of female healers and their power to restore the body, the spirit, and the soul.

In Antebellum Mississippi, Granada Satterfield has the mixed fortune to be born on the same day that her plantation mistress’s daughter, Becky, dies of cholera. Believing that the newborn possesses some of her daughter’s spirit, the Mistress Amanda adopts Granada, dolling her up in Becky’s dresses and giving her a special place in the family despite her husband’s protests. But when The Master brings a woman named Polly Shine to help quell the debilitating plague that is sweeping through the slave quarters, Granada’s life changes. For Polly sees something in the young girl, a spark of “The Healing,” and a domestic battle of wills begins, one that will bring the two closer but that will ultimately lead to a great tragedy. And seventy-five years later, Granada, still living on the abandoned plantation long after slavery ended, must revive the buried memories before history repeats itself.

Inspirational and suspenseful, The Healing is the kind of historical fiction readers can’t put down—and can’t wait to recommend once they’ve finished.

“A remarkable rite-of-passage novel with an unforgettable character. . . . The Healing transcends any clichés of the genre with its captivating, at times almost lyrical, prose; its firm grasp of history; vivid scenes; and vital, fully realized people, particularly the slaves with their many shades of color and modes of survival.” The Associated Press

But in the end, one of the characters, wasn’t able to envision freedom. Caught in the culture (in the story it was a culture of the plantation life) creates blinders that prevent us from accepting the invitation for a new life when it is offered.

This story alerts us to the fact that merely changing the laws on slavery doesn’t create free people. In the same way enacting a law requiring affirmative action doesn’t eliminate descriminatory behavior – it just takes on more subtle forms.

Like the characters in the story, in our own lives we are often caught in the same way. We are invited, either by a new situation or by someone we know to embark on something new, to leave what we know. Because we can imagine something worse, but not something better, we refuse. We are too caught up in our own story – which we believe is true. It is our failure to imagine something better that holds us back – a failure of imagination. God exists, however, in our imagination – or God doesn’t exist at all. Our imagination is the only place God can exist because we can’t see, hear, feel or touch God.

God is not safe. Through our imagination, God is constantly inviting us to stretch, to become uncomfortable, to step out of our comfort zones. But we want so much to be comfortable, to have health insurance, to stay in a space that no longer serves our needs or our life. We are complacent and we want to stay that way. However, this is not living, this is not a life.

Next time you are asked to stretch – say “yes” to life, “yes” to God.

by Roxanne -

Economy Heads Downward – Again

In the U.S.A. the housing market drives the economy. A home is by far the largest purchase most people ever make. After the home purchase is made people typically buy additional furnishings, appliances, decor, etc. All of these puchases drive the retailing industry – one of the biggest sectors in our economy. So when the housing market declines – the retailing industry goes with it, taking along with rest of the economy.

A recent article at “The Big Picture” by Barry Ritholz details two facts that indicate underlying systemic reasons why the housing market will continue to decline driving our economy further south yet again..

First he notes, “2.8 million Americans are 12 months behind or more on their mortgages.” This means almost 3 million homes will be coming onto the market from foreclosure. This will add to the current glut of homes for sale along with those waiting to go on the market (the shadow supply). Because these are foreclosed home, it also means that these same homeowners will not be able to purchase another home. No longer homeowners or buyers – they will be entering the rental market.

Second he writes, “Since 2007, 19% of all borrowers (~9 million borrowers) have gone more than 90 days delinquent on their mortgages, or have had their mortgage liquidated.” This group will not be qualified to apply for another mortgage for many years. This means that nearly one in five borrowers (since 2007) no longer qualifies for a mortgage. The pool of homebuyers has declined dramatically. Further shrinking this pool of buyers are aging baby boomers. As baby boomers age and retire, they too are no longer buyers of large, pricey homes or homes in general.

Lack of buyers will make it even more difficult for existing homeowners to sell for possible employment opportunities elsewhere – further dampening employment. The American dream of homeownership has become, for many, an experience similar to driving with your emergency brake on – grinding down the engine & tires of family assets and guzzling resources.

So a rapidly inflating housing inventory combined with a rapidly shrinking pool of buyers will force home prices to new lows – putting more home owners underwater. I can hear the brakes of the non-existent homes sales screetching as the economy teeters on the edge of yet another cliff.

Who’s most vulnerable in all of this? Those without access to government safety nets – mainly women and children.

 

by Roxanne -

What Patriarchy Looks Like Everyday

People often hear the word “patriarchy” and understand that it means ways in which men discriminate against women or have power over women. It comes from the Latin root pater arche meaning “father rules” or “men rule.” However, it is a specific way of looking at the world through the viewpoint or interests of men. Women can have a patriarchal worldview too. This is a limited view that is frequently harmful to women. Patriarchy is present in every culture worldwide.

Just such a harmful patriarchal incident occurred recently in Shanghai as reported in an article by Zhou Wenting at Asia One. The author reported that,

the municipal subway authority [posted] that “scantily clad women attract molesters”

Further the article related that many women protested against the posting, insisting that wearing different clothing wouldn’t stop the harassment. Nevertheless, the author failed to state what is actually crazy about the request for women to dress modestly in public in order to avoid being harassed by men (whatever “modestly” means because dress codes vary greatly from culture to culture and who decides?).

Here’s the problem: cautioning women to change their behavior (in this case their clothing) in order to minimize harassment or abuse by men is the dysfunctional and crazy view of patriarchy. Instead, the subway authority and the author should have protested the men who harass and abuse women – or anyone – and demand that men treat women, and all people, with respect.

A patriarchal view puts the onus on women to change and makes women responsible for the abusive behavior choices of men. As you can see, this is crazy and dysfunctional thinking. Rather, men are responsible for their own choices. When men don’t treat women with respect that is abusive. Abusive men must be held accountable.

While the article appeared in Asia One, it could have easily been published in this country. We often fail to see the crazy thinking of patriarchy too. Anytime we think that a woman behaved in a way that resulted in her harassment, abuse or rape we are succumbing to patriarchal thinking. If we think that a woman shouldn’t have been “out alone at night” or that she was “asking for it” or “provoking it” we are succumbing to patriarchal thinking.

People (both men and women) should be able to go out safely at night. There is no behavior that ever justifies harassment, abuse or rape of one person by another. Ever.

You may also like Conventional Marriage Makes Women and Children Vulnerable and Our Deepest Fear.