by Roxanne -

Secret of Wealth From Ancient Babylon

Photo USMint.gov

What does it mean to “live within your means”? A SNL skit with Steve Martin, Don’t Buy Stuff You Cannot Afford, is based on this idea.

This skit takes a new look at ancient wisdom. In ancient Babylon people had already learned how to steward resources. And we do steward them. The resources we have are not ours. We don’t take anything with us when we leave this earth.

Here’s the secret Babylonian wisdom that will provide you with wealth and prosperity as long as you live:

1. Give 10% away

2. Save 10% for emergencies and retirement

3. Live on the remainder

Give first. Give back in gratefulness some of what the universe has generously given to you. You will care for others. This is necessary for the benefit of living within a society or living with others. Our society creates systemic poverty because we haven’t yet figured out how to meet every one’s basic needs equitably. Situational poverty will continue to exist because accidents happen, people get sick and people are born with health problems and disabilities. Those who can earn need to contribute to the social safety net for those who struggle.

Next, pay yourself. You will be providing for yourself in old age and you will have resources should you encounter hard times. It is enough to save 10%. Notice that it isn’t even necessary to invest in real estate or the stock or bond markets. It is enough that you simply and consistently save 10% of what you earn.

Finally, live on the remainder. You will be living comfortably within your means. Being an adult means learning that we can’t have everything we want. Being an adult means having the maturity to plan for the future and the discipline to deal with what actually is, today.

Foster a sense of contentment within yourself. How best to do this? When we stop comparing we are more likely to be content. Turn off the TV. TV is junk food for the mind. Without TV you will have less opportunities to make comparisons.

Learn to use what you have in unexpected ways.

Don’t purchase something if you can borrow it or substitute it with something else that will work just as well.

Learn to not cling to material things. After all we are not our homes, cars, clothes, jobs or successful children. Develop a sense of detachment. This is not indifference – but rather, it is not allowing external things or circumstances to determine our self worth and happiness in life.

In the end, what we have is all we need.

You may also like Happiness is a Choice, The Richness of Simplicity, A Year Without Buying Clothes and Do You Need a High Approval Rating?

by Roxanne -

Question the Culture

Photo gscnc.org

Here’s a reflection while we wait through Good Friday and Holy Saturday.

Perhaps you noticed that I recently added the category Question the Culture. Why? Because as thinking Catholics, we are called to question the culture we live in.

Our Judeo-Christian history is all about questioning the culture. The Israelites, in the story of Exodus, questioned the dominant Egyptian culture and its institution of slavery. Jesus certainly questioned the religious authorities of his day. Early Christians questioned the dominant culture of Rome – and resisted Roman culture by living in a very counter-cultural way (Acts 4:32-35).

To follow our culture or our nation unquestioningly is the heresy of fideism. Fideism is quite simply, blind obedience to any external authority, be it governmental, religious or cultural.

Nationalism, for example, is a problem – or at least it should be. As Christians we believe that God is for all people. Therefore, we shouldn’t care more for those of our own family, community or nation. We care for all, just as God does.

You may observe other things in our culture are problematic too. As we know, every culture has both desirable and undesirable qualities. Because of this, Christians are called to question. It is helpful to know other cultures. The saying, “to know only one culture is to know no culture” is true. This is why Catholic colleges promote study abroad programs.

In the end, it is about questioning. This is the foundation of education. To be Catholic is to question everything.

Humor pokes fun at absurdities in our culture that we overlook. Check out Gary and Elaine, the couple who lives in our catalogs over at Catalog Living.

And here’s another on YouTube with British humor, “Women: Know Your Limits!”

You may also like other posts that question the culture such as A Bar At Home-Really?, Truth or Consequences and American Catholicism – How’s it Working?


by Roxanne -

Truth or Consequences

Image NextLevelExecutiveCoaching.com

We seek truth in our lives. As human beings we innately know that our search for God includes a search for truth. In this search, our ability to think and speak truthfully says a lot about who we are as persons and how we value integrity.

Truthfulness is important. It is the foundation of embarking on the spiritual journey. We begin with a willingness to confront the truth of our lives, our families, our culture and our world.

A refusal to acknowledge, in ourselves or others, the destruction of addiction, the inability to confront controlling, self-centered behavior or the desire to keep family secrets can all have tragic consequences. A consistent refusal to look at the truth inevitably results in unnecessary pain and suffering.

I have noticed that, as a culture, we are not very truthful. We speak about things in ways that are not true, are not clear or are meant to give the impression of something else.

As the work of Paul Ricoeur demonstrated, language forms how we think and view the world. To be able to see reality clearly, it is critical that we speak about what we experience truthfully and honestly. This means we must take care in how we speak about things.

One of the things we do so frequently that we don’t even notice it anymore, is not using gender inclusive language. Although this is slowly changing. We use “men” when we really mean “women and men,” “human beings” or “humanity.” To insist on using “men” only implies that most humans are men (which is incorrect and untruthful) or that “men” is normative – also incorrect.

Similarly, as last month’s Mary’s Pence letter reminded me, “women’s rights” are actually “human rights.”

Another common occurrence in our culture is the use of violent language. I am often guilty of this. Violent language gives the impression that violence is OK, when it is not. Why not use peaceful language instead? So “bullet points” could easily be “main points” or “key points.” “Target marketing” could be “focused marketing.” You can think of many more examples.

Here’s another example. We shouldn’t speak about “health care reform” when what we are really discussing is “health insurance reform.”  The focus should be on health insurance companies, not health care providers. But our untruthful way of speaking clouds this issue.

There are many other ways that we speak untruthfully about things and this makes it difficult for us to see clearly, or to respond in appropriate ways. My husband has an article about this called “The Great Language Barrier Beef” you can read Part 1 here. If you like you can continue reading Part 2 here.

In his classic book, The Four Agreements, Miguel Ruiz maintains that one of the highest virtues we can work toward is to “use impeccable speech” or always speak clearly and truthfully.

“Say what you mean and mean what you say” is wise advice – or as Jesus said, “Let your ‘yes’ mean ‘yes’, and your ‘no’ mean ‘no'” (Matt 5:37). This doesn’t mean that we should speak about things in a way that will intentionally hurt or offend. Rather, we should convey the truth with honesty, love and integrity. We can be truth tellers and truthful speakers.

“Then you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free” (John 8:32).

You may also like Ugly Truth About School Funding, White Privilege, Violent Language, Violent Thinking, Violent Actions.

by Roxanne -

What Do You Do With Your Suffering?

During the past few months, a number of people I know have died. What do we do when the unimaginable happens? How can we use our pain, sorrow and suffering for personal growth?

Of course it is possible to grow without suffering. Which is why we don’t say that we desire suffering. Neither does God desire it for us. But to live is to take a risk. To live is to enter the unknown. Living tests us, challenges us. Illness and accidents can happen to anyone – and do. Relationships end. Those we love die. Life entails suffering, by definition.

So then, do we allow our suffering to incapacitate us? Victimize us? Or do we use it to learn, become stronger and deepen who we are meant to be? This is our task.

What do you do with your suffering?

Look around. Clinging to comfort and structuring life to avoid suffering limits our lives, relationships and our humanity. Christianity teaches the reverse. Embrace the cross.

Jesus embraced the suffering of the cross. In the gospels Jesus was deeply relational with others and with God. This is what made him truly human. It is what will make us truly human too.

Those who have varied and strong relationships are better equipped to handle the pain or suffering that comes with entering into relationships or entering into life and death. This is what it means to be human.

Scriptures can be a good resource for learning how others created something good from pain or suffering. Scripture stories are about what we do with our pain. These are the stories of Genesis, Exodus, Job, Ruth and Naomi and of course Jesus and the resurrection. Entering into pain and suffering can be transformational – if we let it.

What kind of healing are we open to? Only physical healing? Or perhaps emotional, psychological or spiritual healing?

To know that there is something transcendent in each of us is to know that at least a part of us will continue beyond our death. Death is not the end. But it is the limit of our suffering in this world.

Knowing this gives us hope and allows us to enter into the risk of life. Knowing how to use pain or suffering as a vehicle for growth allows us to enter into suffering so we can move through it. It passes. Having experienced it gives us empathy with others who suffer too. We can reach out.

Conversely, our culture values a life of comfort and avoidance of suffering. “Be nice and quiet.” “Don’t get involved.” “Family before others.” We can live in a home with an attached garage for years and never meet our neighbors.

But avoiding new relationships or allowing fear to limit where we go in the world, in order to resist emotional or psychological suffering, doesn’t work. Rather it results in anxiety, dysfunction, addiction, depression and worse. The ability to embrace suffering and then let it go, is the skill that makes us resilient, allowing us to remain hopeful and open to the future.

God is the lure and promise of a better future, different from the past.

We can choose happiness in the midst of suffering. As many can attest, the paradox is that sorrow and joy can coexist. Out of deep suffering can come peace, life-long joy and new life. Spring arrives.

You may also like The Story of the Wolf, Irish Heritage, Don’t Worry Be Happy and Surprised by the Spirit.

by Roxanne -

Yoga, Sexuality and Integrity

Photo A. Meshar

My Yoga study continues to reveal some underlying similarities between Christianity and Yoga. Which isn’t surprising since neither tradition emerged in a vacuum. They influenced and impacted each other over thousands of years.

Traditionally, in the Eight-limbed Path of Ashtanga or Raja (Royal) Yoga there are five yamas or abstentions and five niyamas or observances. These could be understood as life directives like the Ten Commandments. One of the yamas or abstentions is brahmacharya. The word brahmacharya is made up of two words: Brahma, the absolute, eternal, supreme God-head and charya, which means “to follow” meaning follow a “virtuous” way of life.

In the tradition of Yoga, brahmacharya refers to sexual abstinence or celibacy. Like the monastic traditions of Christianity, celibacy is practiced as a way of harnessing energy from the relationships of one’s sexual life and diverting it toward deepening one’s spiritual life. In the Yoga this was traditionally taught and practiced only with regard to men.

However, if we understand sexuality as a part of our wholeness as human persons we can begin to interpret this yama of brahmacharya more expansively. If God is present within each person, then gnostic dualism (anti-body or spirit is better) is death-dealing. God within each of us means that God hears what we hear, feels what we feel and suffers what we suffer. We meet God in and through our bodies, including our sexuality. God experiences the world through our bodies. To know this is to value ourselves and our relationships with others. It is to be honest and truthful about the role sexuality plays in our lives.

The same energy that brings sexuality enlivens our spiritual life as well. Learning to become open and intimate with another also prepares us for opening ourselves to life, reality or God. Using our sexual desires in a way that is life-giving for us and for others honors our value as persons. This means that we must be willing to take the time and care required to go more deeply into a relationship with someone else. This takes effort, time and commitment. It takes monogamy. It is impossible to have the time or energy to maintain deep, committed, thus honest sexual relationships with more than one person at a time.

It also requires developing good boundaries. We develop enough self-understanding to know our own values and choose actions that respect those values. We have the ability to consistently choose those actions and responses that will keep us in a calm and abiding place. We learn to do this within the context of our own sexual relationships and within other relationships too. Simultaneously we respect others’ boundaries.

Brahmacharya in my own life means honoring my own sexuality. For me, this means choosing to be in a marriage because the relationship is life-giving and brings out the best of who I am. Earlier in my life I understood the vow of marriage (“until death do us part”) to mean staying in a marriage no matter what – even if it was abusive or soul-killing. I thought that breaking the vow meant breaking with one’s personal integrity. But gradually, I came to see that this vow is made by two parties and therefore must be honored by both parties. One person can’t honor the vow alone. When the other party is no longer committed to the vow, or was never committed, then the contract is broken.

Regardless, to remain in sexual relationships that hurt, abuse or cause sadness is to dishonor not only ourselves but others as well. This is a profound distortion of what sexuality is meant to be in our lives. We are all interconnected. Brahmacharya dictates that we seek sexuality in relationships that leave us feeling loved, valued and cared for.

You may also like Spring Cleaning – Saucha, Yoga Wisdom, Do You Need a High Approval Rating? and Salut! To Your Health!.