by Roxanne -

Celebration of Family

Photo CA Air Resources Board

During the holidays we often gather with family. What does it mean to be a family? What makes a family?

Today as we look around we can see that families come in all shapes and sizes. Families often have economic, physical, emotional and psychological challenges. What they have in common, however, is love and respect that holds them together at their core. On the other hand, we often find people connected as a clan or group who claim a common genetic lineage. But there may be abuse, lack of respect or disregard for anyone else. I question whether this is actually a family in a true sense of the word.

Although our culture puts great weight on genetic links, choosing genetic links as a definition of family is really arbitrary. For example, where should we make the cut-off for genetic linking? Those one genetic link away? Two genetic links away? Three? In truth we are all connected and all part of the human family. Believing otherwise breeds tribalism and elitism.

Today is the feast of the Holy Family. What does it mean to be a holy family? It seems to me that those who are families of holiness for us, love and respect who we are as persons, encourage and support us and are open to listening and sharing with us. If we are lucky these individuals may also be part of our genetic family of origin. If we weren’t so lucky then, as adults, we must create a family of choice for ourselves.

In the end, families are our first experience in creating strong, rich and deep relationships. Think of the adults who most impacted you as a child. Did you have a teacher who took an interest in you? Maybe a neighbor opened her home to you? Throughout my childhood  I remember well four women who gave me their time, care and attention. In celebrating families, we can celebrate those who bring out the best in us, stand by us and love us.

The experience of family is the foundation by which we develop the ability to move out into the world as adults. This movement out into the world brings us the maturity to see beyond ourselves, work for change in the world and enrich who we are with diverse connections and transformative relationships. In the end, these relationships will enrich and develop our personhood as we change the world. They help us to see in ourselves a vision of who we are and who we can become.

by Roxanne -

Christmas Craziness or Christmas Spirit?

The crazy consumerism around Christmas is a recent development in our society that you can read more about if you like. A century ago no one could have imagined that frantic shopping, “Hallmark” expectations or decorating frenzy that now surrounds this holiday.

And yet, we need a respite from the dark, cold, dreary days of winter.  The pagan mid-winter celebrations that ultimately became Christmas did just that.  At mid-winter Christmas offers us a chance to gather with friend and family and take time to reflect. But more and more people are finding other ways to do this that do not involve shopping, decorating or frantic activity as Leo Babuata creatively explains in his thoughtful article “The Case Against Buying Christmas Presents.”

But Christmas is not merely another pagan winter solstice holiday. Christmas is the celebration of the Christian belief that God is not like the Greek god Zeus – distant and impersonal. In Christmas, Christianity makes an astounding claim. The ancient Greek worldview insisted that the Infinite (God) could not fit in the finite, meaning in this world which was finite. Christianity’s claim that God entered the world in the person of Jesus blatantly rejects that worldview. The Infinite or God could fit in the finite. God became a human person in the person of Jesus, truly God and truly human.

This belief made a profound claim about who we are as persons. We each have the capacity to contain divinity or God within ourselves because we are truly human too. The world is a fundamentally good place fit to be inhabited by God and we are fundamentally good at our core. Certainly God shone through more clearly in someone like Mother Theresa than in someone like Hitler whose ego ran the show. Nevertheless God lived in both of them. This Christian claim insists that God is within the world and within us even though God is also beyond what we can know or understand. So the world is sacred and God is deeply personal. What a shocking thing to declare! Christmas reminds us of this declaration. Emmanual, meaning God with us and within us.

So how to celebrate this amazing understanding? Last year I gathered with close friends three times. Each time we learned how to make something easy, new and delicious. The first time we learned how to make wonderful, buttery soft caramels. The second time we tried our hand at no-knead, crusty artisan bread and an authentic Italian tiramisu. The third time we took advantage of our many hands to make dozens of tamales with corn husks, masa, jalepanos, various meats and cheese. Soup, wine and music rounded out the afternoon. Each time we gathered we talked, shared, and enjoyed a relaxing afternoon. We left with something delicious we could share with others and enjoy easily as leftovers. The Christmas season seemed to gently flow from Thanksgiving through to January. No frantic shopping or frenzied activity. All of those activities I simply let go of. Just fun and enjoyment with friends and family.

Other years I have done holiday baking as a way to serve homeless families or hosted a Christmas Tea to help raise money for ESPERA Funds, transformative community lending funds for women caught in  the cycle of poverty.

These are some different ways to experience the spirit of Christmas. To deeply experience the sacred in our lives sometimes we need to consider what really adds substance to our lives rather than activities our culture, society or families expect. How do you experience the spirit of Christmas revealing itself in your life? How could you help others do the same?

Merry Christmas!

by Roxanne -

Holiday Decorating Without a Tree

Photo A. Meshar

Tapping into my retail background I have made some progress in coming up with fun Christmas decor ideas that are inexpensive, fast, but elegant. Happily, none of them involves a tree, ornaments or lights – yeah! It’s my pleasure to pass them on to you. If any attract you feel free to duplicate or better yet – improve upon it!

A few years back I decided I liked the smell of evergreens, but not all the expense, care and mess of a real tree. That year I gathered various evergreen branches (long & short needle, different textures like Juniper and Spruce) and placed them in a large glass hurricane vase with water and wrapped with a red velvet bow. On a server, mantel, counter or table it looked beautiful and smelled great.

One year I filled the same hurricane vase with tangerines and foil-wrapped Christmas hard candies. Wrapped with a bow and rimmed with candy canes, this too, smelled good and looked great. Also it didn’t need watering, the needles didn’t fall off and the tangerines could be offered to guests.

Last year I came across giant cinnamon sticks (about 12 inches each) and giant pine cones at the florist. I decided these would be great stuffed in the hurricane and accented with branches of bright berries. Again, great cinnamon smell and even better – no watering!

This year the cinnamon sticks and pine cones are on the mantel. A large velvet runner drapes the server. Gathering up the silver and glass candlesticks, glass bowls and votives that we almost never use, I arranged them on the runner. A menorah and a string of gold beads complete the display. It twinkles, sparkles and the tea lights are pine scented. Greeting cards are placed on a large platter on the dining table and a basket of berries on the door greets visitors. All of this took about 20 minutes and required no tree cutting. We reused and enjoy what we already have with minimal use of space. This is important in a small townhouse.

Fast, easy and festive. What will next year bring?

Photo A. Meshar

“You have your brush, you have your colors, you paint your paradise, then – in you go.” Nikos Kazantzakis

by Roxanne -

Adult Tree House

Did you have a tree house as a kid? In fourth grade I had a friend whose father built her a terrific tree house. It was large enough for two sleeping bags so we could sleep out there all night. And we did. This tree house had a ladder that took you up through a trap door. There was a plywood floor and the walls went half way and finished with screening,  important in Minnesota where mosquitoes can be annoying. The tree house was topped with a shingled roof. Being up in the tree house was like being in a different world. Everything looked so far away when I was up so high. After dinner sounds from the kitchen faded into the distance. The sky and stars seemed closer. The leaves rustled in the tree and I could smell the greenness of it all. I remember many adventures there, including evening escapades with flashlight in hand.

Well here’s an imaginative take on that idea – a tree house for adults. See more here.

But it also reminds me that tree houses need healthy trees:

“What is the use of a house if you haven’t got a tolerable planet to put it on?” –  Henry David Thoreau


by Roxanne -

Lunar Eclipse

Photo Reuters

I don’t know about you, but where I live it was more like “let it snow, let it snow, let it snow” – so there wasn’t even a possibility of seeing the evergreens out back, much less the lunar eclipse. But what a confluence of amazing events – the solstice and the eclipse. It makes me pause and think about the fact that we are merely creatures on a planetary spaceship, traveling at fantastic speed as part of a solar system located on the outer edge of a larger galaxy. It is all so fragile, yet awesome at the same time.

Do we live in a dark, random, hostile universe? Or, as John Haught surmises, did we emerge into an inter-stellar womb created to sustain a 15 billion-year pregnancy for life? What do you think? Is reality loving and nurturing at its core or hostile?

How we answer these basic questions determines our stance toward reality and life. One answer begets a stance of fear, protectionism and defensiveness. Another invites curiosity, openness and exploration.

If you like, you can see an entire series of beautiful pictures of our neighboring celestial orb here.

Were you able to view the eclipse where you live? Leave a comment and let me know.